2 posts tagged “the always friend”

What was I expecting when I sent you that message? You hate that word, don’t you? Or you didn’t like it when I started to. Expect, that is. Well, when I sent you that message, I didn’t expect anything to come out of it. It was supposed to make me feel better—whether you replied or not. But it didn’t. And it didn’t make any difference when you called to say that you were already asleep when I sent the message. It felt like talking to somebody so far away from me. Almost like I was talking to a stranger.

I don’t understand anymore. Maybe these days I’m just trying to convince myself that I do. When you talk to me, I freeze up and never know what to say. Because in all honesty, I just want to stay quiet and sit beside you. No need for words, because I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to understand why it has to be—or not be, for that matter. I’m tired of this stupid tugging at my heart that I’ve been ignoring because I’m scared of losing this “friendship.” But what can I do? You’re the “always friend” and nothing more.