4 posts tagged “friendship”
The thing about being an outsider if that you never know what’s really going on. And though you only wish for what’s best, you know that the decision and the choice will never be yours. But what do you do when people seem to dig themselves into a hole deeper and deeper? How do you tell them that it’s going to be tougher to get out of it. After everything is over. It’s going to be worse than before. How do you help people who can’t seem to help themselves? And what gives you the right to tell them, anyway?
Sometimes, you’re in a bad mood and everything is just magnified ten thousand times. The littlest thing can strike a nerve and you go off at someone in an instant. You can’t take that back and I’d like to think that at that precise moment, what you were feeling was valid. And just because you felt that way for just a little bit, doesn’t mean that you forget about it in the same amount of time. My hormones are going haywire but I still feel really bad about it. And I know it’s not just because of my stupid period.
You always said my happiness is what’s important. If I was happy, then you’d be happy, too. Well, I’ve realized that my happiness won’t happen like this. And if you really wanted me to be happy, you’d know that this isn’t how to make me happy. I’m really just tired of being told that I don’t know what I want and that I’m not ready. I’m done pretending to be happy in this situation, because really, I’m not. And you know what, if you’re a friend like you say you are, you wouldn’t put me under this kind of stress.
I don’t understand anymore. Maybe these days I’m just trying to convince myself that I do. When you talk to me, I freeze up and never know what to say. Because in all honesty, I just want to stay quiet and sit beside you. No need for words, because I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to understand why it has to be—or not be, for that matter. I’m tired of this stupid tugging at my heart that I’ve been ignoring because I’m scared of losing this “friendship.” But what can I do? You’re the “always friend” and nothing more.
